evening at someone else’s place, warm, slightly too many people for the size of the room, that specific social energy where everyone is performing being relaxed. I was sitting somewhere I’d been assigned by circumstance rather than choice, doing fine, participating at about sixty percent. at some point I noticed something had climbed onto the person across from me and was staring at me with a focus and intention that nobody else in the room was managing. we held eye contact for a while. it felt like being evaluated. I think I failed.